A Bright Sunny Morning
by Aerith Strife1
Summary: The Final Fantasy VIII gang has a twisted little day...now has three chapters. Characters from other games come in... oh, this time, everyone's gone crazy!
1. A Bright Sunny Morning

Don't you wish you KNEW what was going on. . .  
  
Don't you wish you could just UNDERSTAND it all? MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Weeeeeelllll! None of that will happen because. . .the weird writer has BEGUN.  
  
  
  
Sad, isn't it? Well, here ya go. Here's my attempt at a funny Final Fantasy VIII ficcie. XD Reviews are wanted, good or bad. And no, I don't own FF7, that Japanese guy does. But you knew that. o.o()  
  
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Squall -yawn- OH! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SUNNY MORNING IT IS! I think I'll go outside and watch the lovely bluebirds sing and chirp outside the front gate!  
  
Zell -pounds on the door- Hey man, you awake?  
  
Squall -instantly collapses on the bed and pretends to be snoring-  
  
Zell C'mon! I know you're awake in there! I heard you!  
  
Squall Then why did you ask if I was awake.? HUH!?!  
  
Zell Uhh. . .to be. . .erm. . .polite.  
  
Squall YEAH RIGHT! HOW ABOUT YOU AND QUISTY GO GRAB A SPOON!  
  
Zell Say WHAT?! HEY! You wanna go?!  
  
Squall C'mon and try me! I HAVE MY FAITHFUL DOOR!!!  
  
Zell The hell?!?!?! You feelin' okay this morning, Squall? o_O;;  
  
Squall I feel. . .like a new man. . .!  
  
Zell Well I bet it was a change for the WORSE! What's gotten into you!?  
  
Seifer -just walking by- Hey chicken punk, what's up? XP  
  
Zell Shut up! And I thought that was chicken wuss? _;  
  
Seifer Ahh, screw it. I don't like chicken "wuss" anymore.  
  
Zell .o_o;  
  
*Weird noises such as a jackhammer, chickens squawking, a train signal, a cow mooing, and a car horn are heard inside Squall's dorm room, not to mention an insane hysterical laugh*  
  
=================================================  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
*Moans, groans, and screams are heard inside Fujin's dorm.*  
  
Fujin *moan* OHHHH!!! OHHHH!! Raijin. . .my body. . .my body! *scream*  
  
Raijin FUJIN!!! GOD!!!!!  
  
Fujin Raijin. . .give it to me! GIVE IT TO ME!!!  
  
-We hear rowdy noises and the scene flips to Rinoa, Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie.-  
  
====================================================  
  
Kuja Ya'll gonna die now, hear?! NOW HAND OVER THE HERBAL ESSENCES OR YA'LL GONNA BE LYIN' ON THAT THERE FLOOR IF YA DON'T HAND IT OVER!!!  
  
Selphie, Rinoa, and Quistis . . .O_O;;  
  
Irvine JUST GIVE HIM THE BOTTLE! GIVE HIM THE DAMN BOTTLE! HE'S GOT A SPOON!!!!  
  
Rinoa *reluctantly tosses a value size bottle of Herbal Essences over to Kuja*  
  
Quistis We are sorry to have failed you, Garden!  
  
Selphie And I didn't even get a chance to wash my hair with it.! You big ole meanie! UP YOURS, B@$^@%&!  
  
Kuja POTTY MOUTH! *hiss* By the way, do you know why I'm here? O.o;  
  
Irvine No, but we'd be kinda happy if ya LEFT!  
  
Kuja Well. . .TOO BAD! I HAVE A SPOON! *holds up a large wooden mixing spoon*  
  
Rinoa *gasp*  
  
Selphie Irvy! Don't make him mad! He might torture us with it!  
  
Kuja *runs over to the group of girls* That's right. . . *holds the spoon up to Selphie's neck* We wouldn't want things to get messy, would we? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *completely composes himself* Mhmm.  
  
Quistis Oh no.Irvine.Selphie might---!!!  
  
Selphie Irvy! Help me! Please! Just.do what he wants.  
  
Rinoa Ahh, hell with all of you, I'm gonna go see what Squall's up to. *exits the scene*  
  
Everyone . . .  
  
Kuja Well, somebody didn't take their Midol this morning. HMPH! How dare she deny me!  
  
Irvine Please. . .sir. . .let go of Selphie!  
  
Kuja *in a childish way* NO!  
  
Irvine Why. . .?  
  
Kuja BECAUSE I SAID SO! XP!!  
  
Selphie and Quistis *getting pretty scared* . . .o_o;;;  
  
Quistis Sir.will you give the nice man the spoon? Please?  
  
Kuja *shakes his head with an insane look on his face*  
  
Quistis o_o; Well, um. . .how about, if we gave you. . .some shampoo?  
  
Kuja . . .what kind? _;  
  
Quistis Oh. well. um. how about a gift basket of Herbal Essences?  
  
Kuja . . .with the body splash and the body poof, too? _!!  
  
Selphie YES! YES! ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST LET GO OF ME!  
  
Kuja Okay. But if I don't get it by tomorrow, I'll be back! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! *poof, he's gone*  
  
-And the scene switches back to Squall, Zell, and Seifer of course.-  
  
====================================================  
  
Seifer *pounding on the door of the dorm room* Get outta there!  
  
Zell C'mon, man!!!  
  
Squall *quiet as a mouse*  
  
Zell S***! I wonder what he's doing in there.  
  
Seifer . . .frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn. u.u;  
  
Squall FINE! Don't buy your tights at the Gap and see how long they last!  
  
Zell THE HELL?!  
  
Seifer Where in the blue hell did that come from?  
  
Squall *reading from a comedy script*  
  
Squall Soon, this nightmare will be over and England will be safe again! Are you ready, Merry Men?!  
  
Both . . .  
  
Seifer I kinda figured there was a reason why he was always such a cold bastard.  
  
Zell What's that? _;  
  
Seifer Maybe he was in an insane asylum for 3 years to calm him down.  
  
Zell WHATEVER!  
  
Seifer And now he's back at it again.  
  
Rinoa *enters the scene* Where is my Squall?  
  
Seifer Sorry girl, loverboy's havin' some problemos in there, ya CAN'T SEE HIM.  
  
Rinoa *grabs his nuts* You're not the judge around here.  
  
Zell and Seifer O__O!!!!  
  
Rinoa *innocent once again* Squall?  
  
Squall .NOW WATCH AND MARVEL AS I KNOCK DOWN ALL THE BOBBY PINS!!!  
  
Rinoa Squall, come out of there.  
  
Squall WHY SHOULD I!? Man has a right to privacy, you know.  
  
Rinoa But it's me. . .  
  
Squall So?  
  
Rinoa Don't you want to see me, Squall? It's me, Rinoa.  
  
Squall BIG DEAL!  
  
Rinoa *collapses in tears* I think he's been hitting on Quistis again. . .  
  
Zell He never had the hots for her! She had the hots for him!  
  
Rinoa Well. . .maybe. . .SHE'S BEEN FLIRTIN' WITH MY MAN! THAT TWO- TIMING B****!  
  
Seifer Calm down, sweetheart.I'll always be there for you. *wraps his arms around Rinoa's neck*  
  
Rinoa Don't touch me, you walking, talking, skin abrasion!  
  
Zell She really told you, Seifer.XD  
  
Rinoa *exits* I HATE YOU ALL!  
  
Squall Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow! Dad was proud! He didn't care how!  
  
Seifer and Zell .  
  
Squall *moments later* COOOOOWWWW!  
  
Squall *a few more moments later* CHICKEN!  
  
Seifer Zell.he's callin' you in there.  
  
Zell *shoves up his fists and hops around, punching air* BRING IT!  
  
-And the scene switches back to Fujin and Raijin.-  
  
====================================================  
  
Raijin I can't get the top off!  
  
Fujin FORCE IT! *moan*  
  
Fujin Raijin. . .RAIJIN!!!! *moans again* I'm. . .I'm going to DIE! Just GIVE it to me! Force it, force it! WORK IT!!!! *scream*  
  
Raijin I'm TRYING!  
  
-And, back to Irvine and the gang.-  
  
====================================================  
  
Quistis I wanna know what the hell is going on!  
  
Selphie So do I, but we don't get to know, do we?  
  
Irvine *comes over and wraps his arms around them both, getting a little too buddy-buddy for Quistis's taste* Come now, ladies. just know that Irvine is here and you're all safe.  
  
Quistis *walks a bit away, annoyed*  
  
Selphie Aww. . .that's so sweet of you, Irvy!  
  
Irvine *grin* It's REALLY nothing. . . -wraps around Selphie a little tighter-  
  
Quistis Oh god. -_-;  
  
Sephiroth *flies down through the ceiling with his masamune in the quad. Because the quad was. . .ya know. . .where they were.*  
  
Irvine *walks off the stage with Selphie, looking like he's got business to do*  
  
Sephiroth *flies face first into the stage, landing in a split position, the masamune shoved through the stage* . . .DAMN!  
  
Quistis *-*!!!  
  
Sephiroth Eh. . .hehehehe. . . ^_^;  
  
Quistis Wow. . .what a guy. . . *_*!!!  
  
-As we leave the scene, it looks like all of our characters have changed. . .greatly. . . in chapter two, some secrets will be unfolded, and some will remain. . .well. . . secret. As for Squall and Rinoa, well. . .their future is quite a mystery.-  
  
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END OF CHAPTER ONE  
  
Tell me what you think of chapter one. The rest will be coming soon.. D! 


	2. A Bright Sunny Morning: Chapter Two

Well, chapter two of this wild FF8 parody fanfic is here. I loved FF8 and all, but this is for the 99% of my friends that don't. And it's always fun to make fun every.once in a while.  
  
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-Now. The scene switches to Irvine and Selphie. . . all alone. . . in the dorm. . .-  
  
Selphie Irvy, where are we going?  
  
Irvine *grin* To the casba. . .  
  
Selphie . . .o_o; Huh?  
  
Irvine Well, let's get some take-out and then how about we make out?  
  
Selphie . . .  
  
Selphie I think I just had something to do in the quad. *thinking* What a horny little--- he'll never get anything from me!  
  
Irvine . . .! Come on! I had a perfect night planned!  
  
Selphie I'm busy tonight! *runs off*  
  
Irvine DAMN IT!  
  
============================================================================  
  
-Back to Sephiroth and Quistis. . . .alone on the stage. . .-  
  
Sephiroth Okay. . .what the f---  
  
Quistis FABULOUS eyes you have, lovely. . . -gaze, adore- *_*  
  
Sephiroth You're starting to scare me. . . what are you, some desperate whore?  
  
Quistis *sing* I'll can be your hero, baby! . . . I can kiss away the pain! I will stand by you forever! You. . . can . . . take. . . my breath away. . .  
  
Sephiroth O_O!!! GOOD GOD! What do I live for?!?!  
  
Selphie *runs in* He's too HORNY!  
  
Quistis I wish. . . =\  
  
Selphie o_o; What have you been up to? And who's this guy?  
  
Quistis What's your name?  
  
Sephiroth . . . *thinks for a minute* Cloud Strife.  
  
Quistis Oh Cloud. . . your eyes. . . they're. . . they're dazzling. . .  
  
Rinoa *runs in again, this time, dragging Seifer and Zell* I'LL KILL HIM!  
  
Zell Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, Rinoa!  
  
Rinoa WHY SHOULD I!?  
  
Seifer Because chicken wuss said so! HA!  
  
Rinoa . . . shut UP. You're not amusing, pretty boy.  
  
Kuja Someone call?! *poofs in*  
  
Selphie WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? It's like, everyone's getting cued in or something!  
  
Author That's what I'm here for. ^^  
  
All . . .  
  
Sephiroth Well. . . who would like to kill a man named Sephiroth? He has blonde spikey hair that could poke an eye out, cold, piercing blue eyes, and he lives in a town named Nibelheim on planet Earth. He destroys EVERYTHING in his path. . . he even burned down his own hometown! DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!  
  
Seifer Let me at 'im, I'll kick his ass!  
  
Rinoa u_u;  
  
Seifer . . . so c'mon babe, you comin' with me?  
  
Rinoa UP YOURS!  
  
Zell WHOO HOO, RINOA! XD! *laughing his ass off*  
  
Seifer Stuff it, chicken punk.  
  
Zell *puts up his fists and hops around enduringly* YOU WANNA GO!?!?  
  
Seifer I'll take your ass down like the lumberman took the tree yesterday.  
  
All . . .  
  
Selphie Um. . . okay. That wasn't funny enough for this fanfic.  
  
Author Okay, I'll change it.  
  
Seifer I'll take your ass down , chicken breast!  
  
All . . . now that was just. . . unnecessary.  
  
Author TOO BAD!  
  
Zell COME ON, YOU ASSHOLE!  
  
============================================================================  
  
-And we now are taken to Fujin and Raijin. . . at the scene of the closest. More moans, groans, screams and stuff are heard.-  
  
Fujin Raijin. . . my body. . .!!!!!!  
  
Raijin I'll take it out somehow!  
  
Fujin Do it. . . please. . . this is getting. . . very painful. . .  
  
Raijin IT WON'T COME OUT!!!!  
  
Fujin FORCE IT!  
  
Raijin *an odd noise is heard* I GOT IT!  
  
Fujin NOW PUSH IT IN!!!!!  
  
Raijin *does so* OH MY GOD! FUJIN!!!!  
  
-And now. . . erm. . . back to Squall.-  
  
===========================================================================  
  
Squall *sitting alone in his dorm room* Do you know. . .the muffin man. . .the muffin man.the muffin man. . .  
  
Headmaster Cid *knocks on the door* Squall Leonhart, are you in there!?  
  
Squall *does a damn good imitation of Zell* Nah, he's out chillin'.  
  
Headmaster Cid Okay Zell, I'd like you to come out of his dorm now.  
  
Squall Why. . .?! *getting more insane*  
  
Headmaster Cid There's an unusual situation in the quad. We really need somebody.  
  
Squall WELL I DON'T WORK FOR DISNEY! SO TELL THEM ALL TO GO TO HELL!  
  
Squall *now changes to the voice of Zophar, from Lunar 2, evil and god- like, because, Zophar is a god* Come in, my dear. . .  
  
Cid What the----?!  
  
-The door opens slowly and sounds creaky/squeaky. Cid steps in.-  
  
Squall *still doing the voice* Ahh. . . now then. . . what brings you to my inner sanctum. . .?  
  
Headmaster Cid O_O;  
  
Squall Have you come to beg for mercy. . .? Or perhaps to HALT my glorious plan?  
  
Headmaster Cid Squall . . . what's happened to you?!?!  
  
Squall But then. . . it really doesn't matter. . . you haven't the slightest chance of stopping me now. . .  
  
Headmaster Cid HE'S POSSESSED! GET EDEA!!!! SOMEONE HELP!!!!  
  
Squall MY NEW AGE OF SUPREME DARKNESS HAS BEGUN!! Now watch as I mold this world to MY taste!!! *extends a hand out, but. . . grabbing Cid's neck* Are you ready, darling?  
  
Headmaster Cid Good GOD. . .!!  
  
-Back to the quad!-  
  
============================================================================  
  
Kuja I. . .I can't go back. . .! I just. . . need someone. . . to hug me. . . to hold me . . .!  
  
All o_o;  
  
Author Fine, fine, I'll make him evil again. . .  
  
Kuja It's time. . .  
  
Sephiroth HEY! Wait just a fortnight! I thought I was supposed to be the ultimate evil here!!!  
  
Author Too bad, get the hell out of the story, you don't even belong.  
  
Quistis NO! ;_;!  
  
Author Oh yes. . .SEPHIROTH goes. . .  
  
Quistis Fine, I'll go hit on that evil Cloud guy, then.  
  
Sephiroth . . .but. . . but I'M Cloud!  
  
Author No you aren't, you're, "I Need a Psychiatrist."  
  
Zophar *appears* WHO DARES MOCK ME IN THIS FILTHY, WRETCHED, SAD EXCUSE FOR A PLANET?!  
  
Rinoa Got that right, brother.  
  
Zophar SILENCE! *zap*  
  
Seifer HEY! Don't touch her!!!!  
  
All *stare at Zophar* . . .O_O  
  
Zell Okay, now I gotta ask. . . who the HELL is that?  
  
Zophar I. . . AM . . . ZOPHAR!  
  
-the entire area bursts into flames with a flick of his wrist.-  
  
Zophar Now then. . . I will mold this world to MY taste!  
  
Squall *comes running in, giving Cid a piggy back ride* NO, I WILL!  
  
Headmaster Cid HELP! HEEEEELLLLLLP!  
  
Selphie Headmaster CID? What the hell are you doing riding that freak?  
  
Headmaster Cid SQUALL IS POSSESSED!  
  
-DUN DUN DUNNNN!-  
  
============================================================================  
  
-back to Fujin and Raijin at the closet area-  
  
Raijin FUJIN! OH MY GOD! WHAT HAS THIS BEAST BEEN DOING TO YOU!?!?  
  
-The closet door finally opens.-  
  
Fujin *stripped down to all her clothing, with nothing but a raggdy, torn up towel* Raijin. . . *has been getting "tortured" by a T-Rexaur the whole time* My time. . . is not long. . .  
  
Raijin GEEZ! RIGHT WHEN I GET THE TOP OFF OF THIS KEY CONTAINER, YOU'RE READY TO DIE ON ME!  
  
Fujin My body. . . there is no escape. . .  
  
Raijin THIS DAMN DOOR! You think the T-Rexaur would have yanked it off by now!  
  
Fujin Goodbye. . . Raijin. . . *fakes a death*  
  
Raijin NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
T-Rexaur *sad, confused expression* . . .was I too harsh on that massage? Hm. . . I think I need a manicure tomorrow. Better call the salon.  
  
============================================================================  
  
-Is that the end of it all? NOOOO! OF COURSE NOT! This sucks, but, chapter three is coming soon.- 


	3. We Wish You A Bloody Christmas. . .And A...

Well, here's chapter three. This was written sooner than I thought it'd be. . . only a few days after. Well, since today is Christmas eve (I mean, in terms of my writing it), I'll make this a special Christmas chapter. Now. . . READ MY LOVELIES! UWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! *pun intended* By the way- I did this one with a little help and inspiration with Scott, because I was having a little troubles at first. ^^; Thanks, Scott!  
  
============================================================================  
  
-We stay at the scene of the closet. We find a T-Rexaur who doesn't look that scary, but has the sharpest claws you've ever seen. Raijin is crying, and Fujin is pretending she's dead.-  
  
Raijin Fujin. . . why did you leave me. . .? Why!?! WHY IN THE NAME OF PINK HAIRED TROLLS?!!  
  
Fujin *hops up* I'm not dead, you imbecile. I was just pretending so I could see what you REALLY thought about me. Well, it's all good now, so let's celebrate Christmas. And I'll go back to my NORMAL way of speaking. OKAY?  
  
Raijin Erm.. NEGATIVE!  
  
Fujin AFFIRMATIVE!!!! . . .dammit.  
  
Raijin O. . .kay. . .  
  
T-Rexaur Hey, kin any o' you kind fellars spare meh a few gil?  
  
Raijin Sorry, I'm broke.  
  
Fujin I made a few pennies and some dryer lint last weekend at Seifer's house party!!!  
  
Raijin FUJIN. . . O_O!!!! You've. . . you've turned into a----!!!  
  
Fujin A whore? Yeah, oh well. Well, so much for going back to my "normal" way of talking. I guess the author didn't want that.  
  
Author That's right, you're all supposed to be out-of-character, because I said so.  
  
Both . . . oh fudge.  
  
T-Rexaur A--are you sure. . . you don't have a little money? *tears up*  
  
Raijin FINE! TAKE MY LIFE SAVINGS OF 3 CENTS! MAYBE YOU CAN GET YOUR HAIR STYLED, TOO!  
  
T-Rexaur *whimper* . . .  
  
Fujin Here ya go. Maybe the money will help you build your life up to what it can really be. . . *gives him her few pennies and dryer lint*  
  
Raijin It's. . . all I have in the world. . . but. . . you can take it. *gives up his three pennies*  
  
T-Rexaur *tear rolls down face* G---God bless you. . .! You've made my dream. . . a reality! *sob*  
  
Fujin Well, let's go see what everyone else is doing.  
  
Raijin Okay. I wonder if they'll let me cook. . . I can really make a mean batch of potato pancakes!  
  
Fujin . . .  
  
-Let's see what's happening in the quad now.-  
  
============================================================================  
  
Cid *had bust out the karaoke machine* MAN! I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!  
  
All *cheer* WHOOOOO!  
  
Cid Whoa-oh-oh! Give me the action! Give me attraction!  
  
Kuja *hip bumps* Okay, my turn. -steals the mic and sings a Whitney Houston-  
  
Kuja AND I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL ALWAYS. . .LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!! And I. . . will always LOVE YOU!!!!  
  
Rinoa . . .wow. o_o;  
  
Quistis Don't even THINK it, bitch.  
  
Rinoa What'd you say. . .?  
  
Quistis You stole my man once, and you're not gonna do it again. THE MEN ARE ALL MINE NOW, HONEY!  
  
Seifer *comes between them with a big grin* Now ladies. . . there's no need to fight. . . I'm here. . .  
  
Irvine *runs in* HEY! Being a ladies' man is MY job! You're stealin' all the fun!  
  
Kuja Youuuuu. . . my DARLING you! You. . . oooh oooooooh . . .  
  
All . . . o___o;  
  
Quistis . . .  
  
Rinoa . . .  
  
-moments later-  
  
Kuja So goodbye. . . please. . . don't cry!  
  
Squall *comes in, dressed as a woman* AND I!!!!!!!! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!!! AND I!!!!! I WILL ALWAYS, LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!!  
  
Cloud COME BACK, YOU BASTARD!  
  
AerithHeeeey! That's my bow!  
  
Tifa Those are my EARRINGS!  
  
Yuffie HEY! HE STOLE MY MATERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA CREAM HIM!!!  
  
Aerith/Tifa/Cloud *stop* WHAT?  
  
Yuffie Ahhh. . . nothing. I guess he can. . .keep it.  
  
Cloud THAT'S MY DRESS!  
  
Aerith My bow and flowers!  
  
Tifa MY EARRINGS!!!!!!  
  
Rinoa Squall!!!!  
  
Squall I'm sorry. . . Rinoa, he's mine tonight, okay? *starts to slow dance with Kuja* . . .  
  
All O___O!!!!  
  
All Females Heeeeey! This isn't supposed to be a yaoi fic! *girlish cries*  
  
Author Okay, okay, I'll give you your men back and you can all SLOW DANCE WITH THEM! Pleh. -_-;  
  
All Females *sigh of relief*  
  
-everyone pairs up-  
  
Rinoa Oh Kuja. . . I knew we were meant to be.  
  
Raijin Yuffie. . . you'll always have a special place. . . in my heart.  
  
Aerith Irvine, you're so cute!!!  
  
Quistis Zell. . . you have pretty eyes tonight.  
  
Cloud Selphie. . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
Fujin Seifer, I didn't know you---  
  
Seifer Shut up, I'm doing it for the moolah.  
  
Tifa *cries* I have no one to dance with. . .  
  
Headmaster Cid *glance*  
  
Tifa O_O;  
  
Squall Fine, c'mere bitch, time to dance.  
  
Tifa .:|  
  
Squall Kiss me if I'm insane. UWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! . . .ha. . .ha. . .  
  
Rinoa *growl* That's MY man. . . you better not get too close with him, bitch.  
  
Quistis HAH! Now you know how I felt!  
  
Aerith Now Tifa knows how I felt. SHE CAN GET AS CLOSE AS SHE WANTS!!!  
  
-slow song ends.-  
  
Kuja Thank GOD!!!! *kisses the author's feet* O_O!!!!!  
  
Author You know you wanted it. . .XD  
  
Kuja *runs away from Rinoa* AHHHHGGGGHHH!!!! O_O!!!!!  
  
Rinoa COME HERE! LET ME BRUSH YOUR HAIR!!!!!  
  
Kefka *pops in* UWEE, HEE, HEE! Time for CHAOS!  
  
Zophar *pops back in* Someone call AGAIN!? This is getting ANNOYING!  
  
Kefka Zip it, Leafy-Boy! This is MY time to be here!  
  
Author Well, actually. . .  
  
Kefka *zap* YOU ASSHOLES!  
  
Author OWIE! YOU DARE ZAP AND THREATEN THE ONE WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE. . .?!  
  
Kefka I AM THE SOURCE OF ALL MAGIC! YOU CANNOT KILL ME!!! UWEEHEEHEEHEEHEEE!  
  
Kuja Shut UP. O_o;  
  
Kefka What do you have to say about it, pretty boy?!  
  
Rinoa Who the hell are you? Knock it off, he's mine! O  
  
Irvine Like, duuuuuude. What goes on?  
  
Squall Do you know. . . the muffin man. . . the muffin man. . . the muffin man. . .  
  
All "OH NO, NOT AGAIN, my ears can't take this."  
  
Squall Jack and Jill went up the hill. . . TO FETCH A PAIL OF WATER!!!! O_O!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Squall *goes completely insane* MONKEY TREE HOPPIN' VANILLA OOMPA LOOMPAS COME TO TAKE MY POWER AWAY!??!!  
  
Zell Duuuuuude, that's just not right. . .  
  
Irvine Duuuude?  
  
Zell *thumbs up* DUUUUUUDE!  
  
Irvine Where's my car?  
  
All *laflaflaf*  
  
Squall THE ATTENTION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON ME. HOW ABOUT ALL OF YOU GO GRAB A SPOON!?!?!  
  
All . . .  
  
Squall Now watch and marvel as I knock down all the bobby pins!!!!  
  
Quistis . . .? What DOES that mean?  
  
Squall A CHILDREN'S PLAY!!!!!! OKAY!?!!!  
  
Quistis . . .o. . .kay. . .  
  
Rinoa I HATE YOU ALL!!!!  
  
Seifer Even me?  
  
Rinoa I hate you.  
  
Fujin *kicks Seifer* Get over it.  
  
Seifer You- -you kicked. . . my winky!!!!!  
  
Aerith/Tifa/Yuffie . . . why are we here?  
  
Cloud BECAUSE SQUALL STOLE ALL YOUR STUFF! LET'S GET 'IM!!!  
  
A/T/Y THAT'S RIGHT!  
  
Squall You know you want it. . . but. . .  
  
Squall YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!  
  
Squall *tackles Aerith and pulls out his gunblade* EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND DON'T MOVE! . . . or the Cetra DIES! AHA, HA, HA, HA!  
  
Zophar That's my boy! ^_~!  
  
Kefka _!! *irritated growl*  
  
Aerith . . .  
  
Tifa Oh Cloud, you have to saver her. -_-;  
  
Yuffie I'll teach HIM! *jumps on Squall's head* HIIIIII. . . . . .YAH!  
  
Squall AHH! SHE'S RAPING ME! HEEEELP!!!!!  
  
Yuffie You PERVERT!  
  
Selphie That pretty well explains him. . .  
  
Terra *comes in* What is love. . .?  
  
Aerith *begins reciting thingy from the Bible* Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast----  
  
Squall SHUT UP, FLOWER GIRL! Or should I say. . . FLOWER HURL!!!!  
  
Yuffie *still pounding away at Squall*  
  
Kefka TIS MY TIME, NOW!! PRETTY BOYS AND LEAFY BOY, GET THE HELL OUT AND GET READY FOR---  
  
Terra What is love? *head tilt*  
  
Kefka Shut up, you little---  
  
Terra What is love?  
  
Kefka TIME FOR THE LIGHT OF JUDGEMENT!!!!  
  
Terra What is love? *keeps standing there with her head tilted and asking*  
  
Kefka You'll know what love is when I'm finished! UWEEHEEEHEEHEEEHEEEEE!!  
  
Terra I want to know what love is. . . NOW!!  
  
Aerith *nod* Good things come to those who wait.  
  
Tifa Oh GOD. -_-;  
  
Aerith Don't use God's name in vain!  
  
Tifa 9_9!  
  
Squall *gets ready to cut through* I SAID, DON'T MOVE!  
  
Cloud NOOOOOO!!!!!! Okay, okay Squall, keep the dress, I don't care! Just don't. . . kill her.  
  
Tifa Oh who cares, let her die. BURN IN HELL WITH YOUR FLOWERS, BITCH! D!  
  
Aerith No!! ;-;!  
  
Zell/Irvine *sitting on stage watching it all with popcorn* Duuuuuuude. . .o_o  
  
Giant Hot Dog *appears* Zelly..Zelly...  
  
Yuffie Jelly. . .jelly. . . o_o;  
  
Zell The hell!?!? A GIANT HOT DOG JUST FOR ME!! THANKS, SANTA! *runs and tackles the hot dog*  
  
Zell DUUUUUDE! MINE!!!!  
  
Yuffie MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!  
  
Kefka NOOOO! THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! This is supposed to be a KRUEL, KRAZY, KHAOTIC, KANDYLESS KEFKAN KRISTMAS! I SAY THIS ON BEHALF OF THE KKKKKK!!!!!  
  
Zophar He's learning. AS FOR YOU, MY LITTLE PUPPET. . . Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm. . . HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!!  
  
Squall *gets ready to shove it into Aerith's neck*  
  
Tifa HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!! *goes insane*  
  
Zophar Well, well, well. . . WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?!?! TWO PRETTY PUPPETS?!?!  
  
Tifa Here Squall, let me help you, it goes like this. . . ^_^  
  
Cloud HAVE YOU ALL GONE INSANE???!?!  
  
All Well no DUH. o_o;  
  
Author Yeah, DUH, Cloud! XP!  
  
Zophar YOU WILL ALL LIVE IN PAIN..AND SUFFERING!!!!!! HM, HM, HM, HM, HM! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! AHA, HA, HA, HA, HAAA!!!!!!!!  
  
T-Rexaur *runs in, all prettied up* BUT WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?!?!? AND LOOK! I GOT A MANICURE! THANK YA, SANTA!  
  
Aerith You won't win. . . I STILL HAVE IT!  
  
Squall/Tifa HAVE WHAT?!  
  
Aerith THIS! *stabs Squall and Tifa with a rose*  
  
Squall NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa OOOHHHHH! NO!!! OH WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD!!!!! *melts into a black puddle with Squall*  
  
All except the evils YAYY!!!!!  
  
Cloud Aerith. . . you had. . . the REAL ultimate weapon. . .!  
  
Aerith *hops back up* YOU ALL SUCKED!  
  
Althena *appears* ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPHARRRRRRRRR!!!!  
  
Zophar Oh GREAT. What do YOU want!!?!  
  
Zophar YOU ALL GOT LUCKY THIS TIME!!!!!  
  
Althena ZOPHAR! . . . you must learn the value of LIFE! NOW YOU SHALL BE SEALED AWAY. FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!  
  
Kefka LIFE! ALL LIFE EXTINGUISHED EXCEPT MINE!!!  
  
All . . .ummm. . . no.  
  
Mysterious Evil Voice Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm. . . so. . . you think you've got it all figured out. . . . . . .WELL!!!!!! Guess what? YOU DON'T!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! . . . ha. . . ha.  
  
============================================================================  
  
-Well, I bet you're asking, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?! Who is this NEW evil person? Have the goodie goodies been foiled? Will the baddie baddies succeed? Find out. . . in chapter 4. Ya'll have a spiff Christmas, now, hear? ^^- 


	4. Like...aren't you from LUNAR?

Yep, this is definitely chapter four. I apologize for having it come so late. Enjoy!  
  
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~  
  
Mysterious Evil Voice So. . . you thought you could escape my delicious wrath? The world will once again be mine on a delicious half-shell. And you can't stop me, RINOA.  
  
Rinoa What? What the hell? Why does every guy have to fall in love with me?  
  
Aerith *shrug*  
  
Selphie Lucky. . . I think he's a sexy albino elf!  
  
Quistis He'll still never have eyes like my darling Cloud. . .  
  
Zophar How did you get here?!  
  
Althena It's you! *blush*  
  
Mysterious Evil Voice That's right. . .I am GHALEON.  
  
Cloud Ghaleon!?  
  
Irvine *fakes a mousy voice* Uh oh. . .  
  
Ghaleon, revealed Yes, I am the same Ghaleon that was buried and left a cursed memory. . .but YET I NOW live again!  
  
Zophar Courtesy of moi. *raises eyebrows flirtatiously*  
  
Ghaleon HMPH. YOU INTERRUPTED MY INTRO. *COUGH* . . .Truly, if there is a god of destiny, he is FOND of plot twists! AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!!  
  
Aerith Oh no. . . he are a magician!  
  
Cloud Sorcerer, Aerith. . .  
  
Ghaleon WRONG! I AM THE MAGIC EMPEROR! The DRAGONMASTER GHALEON!!!  
  
Zophar But. . .but I wanted to be the bad guy!!  
  
Squall *licking his arm, like an animal* Wha?  
  
Tifa *slaps Squall* Idiot.  
  
Ghaleon Too bad, so sad, you're not in this story anymore, sweet cheeks. *zaps Zophar out of the story* This is for the Silver Star, now.  
  
Author Yay.  
  
Squall What?!?! Aww, man! And to think this story could have started as me clucking like a chicken. BWAKAAA!  
  
Tifa *HISS* I don't know WHO you are, but WE are the evil ones here, not you! So GET OUT! GRRR!  
  
Ghaleon And I don't think you realize who you are, either, sweetheart. . . *checks out her figure* Did you ever work at Hooters?  
  
Tifa *punches his eye*  
  
Ghaleon OUCH! You just killed the ONLY remains of becoming my BITCH.  
  
Althena I don't know WHO you think you are, Ghaleon, but your plans will not be carried out!!!  
  
Ghaleon Oh, is that so?  
  
Irvine Hey there, foxy. . . how about you's an' me go get a little CHA- CHA drink?  
  
Althena No, thank you.  
  
Ghaleon *hisses at Irvine* HANDS OFF.  
  
Zell I'd rather have Teefs. Althena's too old.  
  
Squall Too bad, Zell, she's mine.  
  
Cloud I thought she was in love with me. . .  
  
Aerith It was a joke, Cloud.  
  
Author Tifa, Aerith, Cloud. . . I think. . .it's time to say goodbye.  
  
Squall NOOO!!  
  
Aerith Okay. See ya later! *runs off with Cloud*  
  
Tifa EVIL WILL RESUME!!!!!! *fades away, but fades back in* Wait, I thought I died in the last chapter, with Squall. Heh! Guess not. *fades away again*  
  
Squall She did. I just gave her immortality. HA, HA!! Zophar's power does a body good. Which is why I am still alive, as well.  
  
Rinoa Squall, shut up.  
  
Squall You shut up, Timber Whore.  
  
Rinoa &*@)(%& @#$&^(@ @#$& @&*(&*)!#$&*@)%(^* ^$&)#$!!!!!!! I'll KNOCK YOUR ASS INTO THE BLUE HELLS!  
  
Raijin *hums Blue Fields*  
  
Fujin Shut up. It's ANNOYING.  
  
Ghaleon Quiet, quiet, now, my pet. . . you have no need to worry. . . *teleports Rinoa to his side*  
  
Quistis EVERY GUY FALLS IN LOVE WITH RINOA.  
  
Squall Who says?  
  
Zell YEAH!  
  
Irvine Ahhh. . .eh, heh, heh. . . *scratches the back of his head*  
  
Squall/Zell/Ghaleon Shut up, Irvine.  
  
Irvine *points at Ghaleon* Duuuuude, how'd he know my name!?  
  
Ghaleon Because I do. And I also sense great idiocy in you, boy.  
  
Squall Oh. . . so I'M not special anymore?  
  
Ghaleon No, you've got quite a bit of it, too.  
  
Zell You guys are WEIRD.  
  
Althena Ghaleon, we do NOT belong here.  
  
Ghaleon Goddess Althena, heed my command, turn your pure light into blazing fire and decimate all who oppose me!!  
  
Althena No.  
  
Ghaleon *slumps down and walks into a corner* Kay.  
  
Seifer What an idiot of a guy. . . he obeys her like he's her little pet! Just like something chickenwuss would do.  
  
Zell Shut up, cracker!  
  
Seifer You SUCK at insulting me.  
  
Zell Who cares about you.  
  
Ghaleon EXCUSE ME? DID I SENSE AN INSULT COMING TOWARDS THE MAGIC EMPEROR? I'll kick your ass.  
  
Althena Ghaleon! I never expected you to use such a tone, and before CHILDREN!  
  
All CHILDREN?  
  
Kefka Uwee, hee, hee, hee. . . you forgot about me. . .  
  
Terra And me. What is love? *headtilt*  
  
Kefka Shut up.  
  
Ghaleon *eyes down Terra* Hmm. . . she's an interesting one. . . I sense power in her.  
  
Terra . . . *stares at Ghaleon, head still tilted* What is love?  
  
All SHUT UP!  
  
Terra FINE. I HATE YOU ALL. *vanish*  
  
Rinoa Hey, she's good!  
  
Quistis None of you have pretty eyes anymore. Author I resent that! Ghaleon is a VERY attractive elf. . . crimson eyes. . .red like fire. . .  
  
Ghaleon You're an interesting one, as well. . . but you have no power.  
  
Author Bull, I have more power than you.  
  
Ghaleon Oh, REALLY? *throws head back and laughs*  
  
Author AND Althena.  
  
Althena I beg to differ.  
  
Author Are we forgetting who brought you INTO this story?!!  
  
Ghaleon and Althena . . .sorry.  
  
Author And Ghaleon, as much as I love you, I think it's time for you and Althena to leave, as well as Psycho and "What is love" over there.  
  
Kefka, Terra, Ghaleon, and Althena AWW!! Okay, BYE BYE!! *vanish*  
  
Author Such good little puppets.  
  
Squall You'll never get a hold of me! UWAHAHA!! *runs around like a chicken*  
  
Quistis I wish Squall would just go in his cage and stay there.  
  
Zell HA! I bet you do! HA, HA, HA, HA!  
  
Irvine *joins in with the laugh*  
  
Quistis HMPH, that's what you think.  
  
Headmaster Cid There seems to be a problem----  
  
All Will you EVER go away?  
  
Cid No.  
  
All Fine. Just keep talking. . .  
  
Cid Well, the same idiot who messed up the quad has knocked all the books off the shelves in the library as well. Half of the janitors have disappeared, and the library has been closed because the librarian is on vacation, so I'm going to need a little help.  
  
All . . .No.  
  
Cid Zell, I think I found a hot dog in one of the books. . .  
  
Zell REALLY!?! ALL RIGHT! *zooms off to the library*  
  
Cid Heh. . .gullible little bastard.  
  
Rinoa and Quistis *stare at Cid* O.O  
  
-------------------- Three hours later. . .  
  
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~  
  
Zell Headmaster Cid, I didn't find the hot dog, I think someone ate it already!  
  
Cid Oh. . .that's too bad. . . you cleaned up the books, right?  
  
Zell No. . .  
  
Cid YOU DIDN'T? 500,000 GIL OFF YOUR PAY!  
  
Zell WHAT?!?!  
  
Cid Don't follow Cid-man's orders, and you're not gonna be liked around here.  
  
Zell But I----  
  
Cid NO BUTS ABOUT IT!  
  
Squall, Rinoa, Quistis, Irvine, Seifer, Selphie o.o()  
  
Seifer Tch, tch, tch. . .chickenwuss strikes again. So, Rinoa, baby. . .  
  
Rinoa F*CK OFF, SEIFER!!!  
  
Seifer *backs away, eyes all wide and his arms in the air* Hey, hey, hey!!!  
  
Squall *bumping hips and dancing with Irvine* Do a little dance! Make a little love! Get down tonight!  
  
Irvine . . .  
  
Squall *stops, then turns to Irvine with love-filled eyes* You know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you're with a friend? *cling*  
  
Irvine Not. . .really. . .  
  
Squall Well. . .I'm feeling that now, Irvine. I like you. You are my friend.  
  
Irvine *not wanting to make him go psycho again* That's. . .great, Squall, you're my friend, too. . .  
  
Selphie . . .  
  
Squall *goes psycho again anyways, first tackling Selphie* GRAHHHHH!!!!! GRAFALAGHRARAHRAAARRRR!!!!  
  
Selphie *scream*  
  
All but Squall NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
-camera zooms out from Garden, then from Balamb, then from the world, with a fire alarm going off with the yell-  
  
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~  
  
End of chapter 5, I know, not as good as the last chapters, kinda sucked. Hope you. . .somewhat enjoyed it anyways. . . you know more will come. 


End file.
